We all have women in our lives that we look up to: mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, friends, mother-in-laws, sisters, the little old lady at church…. These are women who have strength and grace, “piss and vinegar”, compassion and understanding, or motivation that inspires us in some shape or fashion. We surround ourselves with this “tribe” of women and it sculpts us into who we are today. We are given opportunities to share memories and learn “old ways” and “new ways” of doing things that allow us to make it through life. I’m talking …… Granny Hacks!
What is a “Granny Hack”?!?!
A Granny Hack is something you learn from someone (old or younger) that helps you get through life! I’ll share some of the things I have learned over the years from various women in my life.
Things I learned from my Great Grandma: “Granny Hacks”
- Never let your husband leave without a solid breakfast.
- Always dress up on Sundays.
- Check to make sure your trousers don’t have yesterdays pantyhose hanging out of them when you go into MacDonalds.
- The kitchen is the only place you use swear words when you think no one hears you.
- Soak the fruit cake in Brandy and then put some more on top.
- Keep adding ice water to that pie crust until it “feels like a pie crust”.
- Use a cereal box to make your quilt patterns.
- Jesus loves me.
- I love quilts.
- Always will be grandmas “Sweetheart”
Things I learned from my Nanny (Grandma): “Nanny Hacks”
- Live like everyone is watching and you don’t give a rip!
- Don’t knock on her door at 3am or she will meet you with a gun!
- If you want something, go for it.
- Some of life’s “best decisions” make the greatest stories.
- Science is fascinating and God’s got your back
- Cancer Sucks.
- Fossils, Caves, and Indian relics are pretty sweet.
- Farts are funny and gross no matter how old you are.
- A pot of beans never left anyone hungry
- Crocheting is tough stuff!
- Empty your pockets….Grub worms don’t belong in washers.
- Straight pins were a death trap when being fit for clothes that Nanny made.
- Cactus hurt. A lot!
Things I learned from my Momma: “Momma Hacks”
- Listen to all types of music! ( John Anderson, Cher, Enya, Nappy Roots, Eifel 65)
- Adventure is OUT THERE!- Camp, Hike, Kayak, Swim
- Skunks at a campout LOVE Jiffy Pop Popcorn
- Love all people no matter if they are yellow, black, white, purple, gay, liberals, or Family.
- When you are in the woods in the dark with a shotgun, don’t be afraid.
- You can do anything you set your mind to!
- Cancer Still Sucks
- Do it right the first time or you’ll have to do it again.
- Bring home random animals and never treat an animal poorly.
- You can craft with a glue gun and staples.
- Always momma’s LaceyBug (Ladybug)
Things I learned from my Sister: “Tabby Hacks”
- Night terrors are a real thing!
- Mickey is terrifying. (No seriously, she came out of the bedroom in her night robe with one eye open during a night terror and said “Mickey”)
- Cardboard tree stand boxes are no match for a BIC Pen and a little brother.
- You can do anything you set your mind to, the sky is the limit!
- The tiniest baby sister hand wrapped around your pinky finger ( I was 5 when my sister was born ) can change your perspective on life. Baby hands are so small!
- Little sisters will eat worms, rolly pollies, and drink Vienna sausage juice to run faster…. all because you are the big sister and tell her it is a good idea.
- Having a niece and a nephew is the coolest thing ever!
Things I learned from Nay and Nessa: “40 Somethings Hacks”
- Being 40 something is awesome!
- What happens in the Gypsy Cabin stays in the Gypsy Cabin.
- You can have an apple bottom when you are 40….
- Hike EVERYWHERE!
- Beagles are Love.
- Women can use tools too.
- Being referred to as bug is a term of endearment.
- Undergarments are optional.
- Hula Hoops (Hoopa Loops) are relaxing.
- Don’t try to introduce them together…. people think that they are your “lesbian mothers”…. and things get weird.
- You are only as old as you act.
” Life is a quilt of memories sewn together with the needle of your heart and the thread of time”
– Lacey Sloan